How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

Wow! You did what?! How did you do it? That must have been hard!

These are just some of the reactions we receive when people find out that Greg and I committed to an overseas long-distance relationship for 4 years. 15,288 kms (9,500 miles) between us, but who’s counting. 😉

"Distance means so little, when someone means so much." - Tom McNeal.

Window Seat Photo #1 by Maree Richardson

Whether you and your partner are commuting between countries, states, or towns, distance is distance, no matter how large or small. Over the years, many people have asked for advice on surviving a long distance relationship. Here are some common suggestions that arose:

1. Sweet Surprises 
Send each other gifts every now and again, for Birthdays, Valentine's Day, or simply "just because".  It could be sexy underwear, a personalized stubby holder, a golden rose, you name it.

2. Communication
This may sound cliche, but communication is KEY to any successful relationship. Be open and honest with your partner. Keep it natural and unforced. Talk when you want to talk, not because you have to. In difficult conversations, approach your partner calmly and respectfully, ensuring you listen to and acknowledge their ideas and point of view. You might learn something.

"Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness." - Albert Einstein.

3. Explore Different Platforms for Communication
Capitalize on all of this amazing technology that we are offered today. FaceTime and Skype are life-savers! Text messages and phone calls are great, but don't forget about the old hand-written letter. So romantic! Who doesn't get excited by personalized letters in the mail?! Much more satisfying than bills, I say. Other ideas include cute cards, drawings, photos ... get creative!

4. Plan your Next Visit
This gives you both a common goal to work towards, and something to look forward to. It increases the excitement as you count down the days until you get to see your partner, from triple digits to double digits to single digits. A bit like an advent calendar!

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." - Khalil Gibran.

Window Seat Photo #2 by Maree Richardson

5. Sacrifice 
Relationships are all about give-and-take, 50-50. However, at some point in time, one person may need to contribute a little more to make things work, such as packing up and moving to a new town, state, or country. Remember to be patient, and keep things in perspective. The favor may be returned.

6. Trust 
This is so damn important. Don't be clingy and controlling. Don't send text after text asking where your partner is. Stay cool, man! If you are in an honest and trusting relationship, than both partners should be allowed to do what they want (within reason), to go where they please (within reason), and be trusted. If you cannot trust your partner, than perhaps they are not worthy of you ...

"I believe in the immeasurable power of love; that true love can endure any circumstance and reach across any distance." - Steve Maraboli.

7. Long Distance Dates
Have you ever tried to "Netflix and chill" simultaneously via long distance? Our fabulous Insta-friends Erika and Dale introduced us to Rabbit, an App that enables you to sync your Netflix with somebody else's around the world and chat to each other long distance. A total game-changer. 😊 Obviously it's not as good as the real thing, but you do what you gotta do, right?!

Window Seat Photo #3 by Maree Richardson

8. Enjoy Time with Family & Friends 
Make the most of your time with family and friends, as you may never have this much time to spend with them again in your life. Their company may help to keep you happy, positive, and distracted from feeling sorry for yourself.

"How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?" - A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh.

9. Money 
They say money does not mean anything. Well, it kinda does! [insert Russell's voice from Rules of Engagement]. Particularly if you partner lives overseas! Airfares are not cheap! You may need to work an extra shift or second job to make the money to visit your partner. I worked in a coffee shop (and I hate coffee!), and Greg worked the night-shift at Walmart (and he is a morning person!), until we could save enough money to purchase airline tickets to visit each other.

10.  Celebrate!
Even the little things. 1 month on the countdown? Celebrate! Next visit booked? Celebrate! Ya know what I mean. And yes, it is totally viable to "wine and dine" over FaceTime or Skype.

"You can't just give up on someone because the situation's not ideal. Great relationships aren't great because they have no problems. They're great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work." - Unknown.

Window Seat Photo #4 by Maree Richardson

If you're looking to add a little spice, or needing some reassurance, hopefully some of these suggestions were helpful.

Side note: Greg and I have now been together for 8.5 years, so we must have been doing something right. 😉

Please share your thoughts and ideas.

What would you recommend to others who have just commenced a long distance relationship? How did you and your partner get through the tough times?


Have a great week!


Maree

10 Things I Have Learnt Living Overseas

Hi, folks!

Here is my raw and brutally honest review of things I have learnt living and working overseas.


1. The longest period I spent away from Australia without visiting was just over 12 months.  Upon returning, I felt like a foreigner in my home country.  I wandered around feeling like a naive tourist, and commented on the strong Aussie accent of passersby that I once used to have.

2. Speaking of accents, mine keeps changing! Australians say I sound American, Americans say I sound British/South African/New Zealand/German/French - some days I am unsure where I belong.  My career in Speech Language Pathology most likely contributes to my accent change, because I need to be understood by the children and parents I serve, and teach my clients how to produce sounds and words according to their dialect.  Slowly converting American children to Australians, one accent at a time ... Just kidding! 😉 When I first touch base in Australia, my friends and family say I sound really American, and make fun of me for "taking a shower to get cleaner and feel better".  However, after a day or two of immersion into my Aussie culture, I soon fall back into "taking a showa to get cleana and feel betta, maaaaaate".

3. TIP: Prepare a "catch phrase" or clever response for those times when people ask "Where are you from?".  Sometimes I feel like saying "I'm from Antarctica with the polar bears", just to really stump them.  Only on rare occasions do unfamiliar people guess my accent correctly. 

4. I love trying new foods from all different cultures.  Whenever we go on a date night, Greg and I usually choose an ethnic restaurant.  However, sometimes I have those days where I just crave a good ol' Aussie vegemite sanga.

5. Americans LOVE Australians.  They love our laid-back attitudes and accents.  We are associated with iconic legends like Steve Irwin "The Crocodile Hunter", and Paul Hogan's catch phrase "Put a shrimp on the barbie".  They also think we are tough and strong, having to deal with all of the dangerous animals that are apparently out to kill us ... please, America, have you forgotten about your brown bears and alligators?? 😉

South Beach, Miami. Photo taken by Maree Richardson.

6. TIP: Remember and/or practice entering your bank account details for your home country on a regular basis.  On one of my visits to Australia, there was an uncomfortable moment where I forgot my bank account number and password.  After entering it incorrectly a number of times, I was locked out of my bank account.  I called a representative who asked me a bunch of questions including my secret questions.  Turns out I must have answered them incorrectly, also.  After a series of hesitant "okay"'s and "a-huh"'s from the representative, she said she could not assist me at that time and suggested that I visit a branch to sort it out.  Long story short, I visited a branch and was served by the most lovely and understanding bank employee who helped me renew everything.

7. People in other countries often talk about how friendly and happy Aussies are, but I had never noticed this concept until I had been away for over 12 months.  The lady who helped me at the bank branch (from the prior story) spoke to me like a friend, and I left the bank feeling calm, warm and fuzzy (not usually how banks make one feel).  When visiting Tasmania for the first time, and aimlessly getting lost around the streets of Launceston, a friendly person working in the street stopped what he was doing, and took time out of his day to ask if we needed help and gave us directions.  So kind! 

8. It's OK to talk to strangers on planes.  This tends to happen more when I am flying by myself.  You know within the first couple of minutes of making "small talk" with the person sitting beside you whether they are in for a chat or prefer to be left in peace.  I strongly believe you can learn something from everyone you meet in life, whether they stay in your life for 5 minutes, 5 years, or forever.  In the words of Dr. Seuss, "You can learn something new everyday if you listen".

Started out strangers, ended up friends!  Rocky Mountain National Park.
Photo taken by Colorado Sightseers.  

9. Be prepared to translate everything - vocabulary; measurements; dress sizes; humor.  My temperature conversion skills from Celsius to Fahrenheit are improving, but I still use the Converter App on my phone at times.  You will often hear short pauses in my conversation when I am thinking about my audience and which word I need to use - "boot" or "trunk", "bonnet" or "hood", "jumper" or "sweater", "Autumn" or "Fall", "Primary" or "Elementary", "thongs" or "flip flops" - you get the point.  When someone asks me for my dress size, I have to convert Australian sizes to American sizes and vice versa.  There's even jokes and phrases I sometimes use that cause a confused expression on my communication partner's face, which I then have to explain what it means, and by then it has lost all meaning and humor.

10. You will STRONGLY appreciate spending time with your friends and family.  Having a specific, often short, time to spend with my best friends and family means that I am totally invested in them.  We truly make the most of quality time together and it never goes to waste (often at the expense of little to no sleep!) but the memories made are always totally worth it.  Quality over quantity.


Who can relate?


From the utterly confused and happily exhausted,


Maree

From Resident, To Citizen

Hi, folks!

After 4 years of living and working in America, transitioning from conditional to unconditional Permanent Residency, mountains of paperwork, fees, fingerprinting, background checks, interviewing, testing, and more waiting, I became a U.S. Citizen in December of 2017.  I am honored to now officially call myself a dual citizen of Australia and America.

Photo taken by Gregory Richardson.

For those of you wondering if it was worth the "hard slog" - absolutely.  The freedom to move between countries whenever I please without being scrutinized, the mental and emotional stabilization of knowing that Greg and I will no longer have to be apart for extended periods of time, and being welcomed "home" no matter which direction I travel, is a feeling like no other.

A few weeks prior, I undertook a face-to-face citizenship test and interview.  I was a little nervous preparing for the process since the test covered a variety of U.S. facts and history.  There was a bank of 100 possible questions that the interviewing officer could select from.  These questions and answers were memorized on our "hurricane evacuation road trip" up to Alabama and back!

Greg and I attended the Oath Ceremony in Tampa, Florida.  It was short and sweet, albeit heartfelt and meaningful.  There were 69 people from over 20 countries who also attained their U.S citizenship alongside me at the ceremony (although I was the only person hailing from Australia)!  It was interesting to hear some of their stories.  One man from Guatemala had been waiting 15 years for this moment - Wow!

Who else out there is a dual (or triple!) citizen?  If so, what countries are you a citizen of?

Cheers,

Maree

     

Update and Happy New Year!

Hey, folks!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! It has been quite some time since I last wrote a blog post, and what a better day to start writing than New Years Day, right?!  I thought I would update you on where life and work has taken me over the past two years.

At the beginning of 2015, I was awarded my national and state licensure to work as a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) in Florida, U.S.A. Here are the links to read about how to transfer degrees/licenses internationally and obtaining state licensure in America.

For the past two years I have been working in a preschool/outpatient facility, providing therapy for the communication and feeding needs of children with a range of complex communication needs. This role has been both challenging yet rewarding, and the experiences I have obtained have been immeasurable on both a professional and personal level.

My Permanent Residency status is now unconditional, and I am ready to apply for my U.S. Citizenship in March of 2017 so that I can become a Dual Citizen of Australia and America. As anyone who has moved internationally would know, the road to Citizenship is a long and grueling process, but I am hopeful the results will be all worth it! Here is the link to read about the different types of U.S. Visa's you need for work and travel.

My husband and I have been blessed to have had the opportunities/time to travel, both locally and internationally, over the past two years. Destinations have included China, South Korea, Australia, The Smoky Mountains (Tennessee), Key West (Florida), Zion National Park (Utah), Bryce Canyon National Park (Utah), and our most recent camping trip along the Southeast coast through the states of South Carolina and Georgia.  Despite back injuries, we have really taken a liking to hiking and exploring The Great Outdoors, which I hope we continue to do throughout the New Year.  

Please feel free to reach out to me with any comments or questions regarding working internationally, transferring degrees/licenses internationally, or just to say "hi". I would LOVE to connect with more friendly faces who are travelling along this weirdly enjoyable journey called "life".  In the meantime, as I reflect back on the year that was, here is my favorite photo from 2016:

Zion National Park, Utah, U.S.A. 

Sending peace, love, and happiness to you all in 2017,

Maree

What Visa Do I Need?

Hello, folks!

Today we're going to talk about Visa's. Boring, I know. Nonetheless, it's very important for international travel of any kind.

The U.S. offers a range of non-immigrant visa's for temporary stay for tourism, business, visiting, studying and exchange purposes (find out about each of them here). However, applicants who hold these visa's are restricted from employment outside of their visa's conditions. Basically there are two pathways to obtaining the right to work in the U.S.:

1. Temporary, non-immigrant employment visa based on the planned employment purposes. The caveat is that the candidate must be sponsored by a company. The paperwork required to file for sponsorship can be time-consuming. Unfortunately, more highly-skilled, foreign candidates can be declined employment in place of a lesser-skilled, citizen (my husband experienced this difficulty trying to find work in Australia a few years ago). Even when sponsorship is successful, this temporary visa lacks stability because the company can forfeit sponsorship at any time, and there are lots of requirements to satisfy in order to maintain or extend it. You can find more info about non-immigrant employment visa's here.
2. Immigrant visa for permanent residence. This includes family immigration, inter-country adoption and fiance (marriage) visa's. The advantage of this route is that once a permanent immigrant visa is obtained, you have a permanent "right to work" that is not tied to any specific company. The downside is that the route to obtaining said visa can be long and relatively expensive, as outlined here. 

America prides itself on its independence, and so it should. However, the consequence of it not being a part of the Commonwealth made it difficult for me to obtain the right to work here. Classed as a visitor, I was denied employment, health care and indefinite stays in the U.S. I felt like I'd been stripped of my identity. Consequently, my husband and I chose to go down the immigration path for permanent residence in our respective countries. Perhaps the most interesting experience of the process was the medical examination. These were my lasting thoughts:

...prepare to walk in single file from room to room for a two hour period, naked under a thin hospital gown, being poked and prodded in all places imaginable. In other words, say good-bye to your dignity! 

So, was the year-long, grueling process for permanent residency worth it? In my opinion, yes. Arriving into the U.S. on a permanent residency visa for the first time, I actually felt like this country wanted me. I am now entitled to health care, employment, and that pesky social security number which is required for sooooo many things. 

Here's a shout out to anyone else out there who has gone/is going through visa processes to work in another countries. No matter where you are in the world, I would love to hear your stories!

Have a great week,

Maree

Culture Shock!

Travelling to a new place is exciting. Moving to a new place is a whole different ball game.

During the long-distance portion of our relationship, Greg and I would save up enough money to visit one another every 6 months. He worked the red-eye shift at Walmart (difficult for a person who prefers a ‘normal’ sleep schedule), and I worked in a coffee shop (difficult for someone who hates coffee).  We knew we would only have a couple of weeks together, so we would make an effort to visit different attractions and see and do as much as possible within that time period. I think you generally see what you want to see when travelling. You don’t really experience the differences between two countries until you are living somewhere else, both good and bad.

I try to embrace my uniqueness, and it does come in handy for those times when you want to be noticed e.g. interviewing for a job or making friends at the local tennis club. The other day, three employees in Publix (the local supermarket) asked me where my accent was from and struck up conversation, interested to hear all about my life. American’s think Australia is some kind of exotic oasis where everything is trying to kill us. They love icons like Steve Irwin and Crocodile Dundee, to the point where I’ve been asked if I know them – “Oh yeah, he’s my Uncle” I once replied. Basically, it’s ‘cool’ to be an Aussie in the States.

Getting back to my point – when you live somewhere new, you need to work to earn money and do all those tasks that ‘normal’ people do. You do things 10x slower than everyone else because you’re learning a new way of doing things. You constantly experience the feeling of moving one step forward and two steps back. No matter how hard you try to ‘fit in’, there’s always someone there to let you know that you don’t. There’s two words for this:

Culture Shock! 

No one can ever prepare you enough for it. But you do grow because of it.

I thought I would share a few of America’s idiosyncrasies:

• Everything is about convenience – drive through banking; drive-through pharmacy; drive-through Krispy Kreme Doughnuts; electric garage door openers; the mailman not only delivering mail to your mailbox but also picking up any mail you need to send. (I must say I have grown to enjoy the latter two conveniences)!
• FOOD. EVERYWHERE. There are billboard advertisements for fast-food restaurants every few hundred meters along the freeway. There are so many chain restaurants that I am constantly hearing about new ones. In Australia, you can almost count them on one hand.
• Cheap beer prices. (I also appreciate this one)!
• The health care system is complicated (let’s no even go there, or this blog post will never end)!
• I am constantly learning new lingo. Here’s a few of my favourites:

1. It’s “How are you doing?” in America, not “How are you going?” like in Australia. American’s will reply to the latter with “Going? I’m going nowhere. But I’m doing well, thanks”.
2. ‘shopping cart’ for ‘shopping trolley’
3. ‘gas’ for ‘petrol’. People will ask "Have you got gas?" – makes me laugh every time.
4. ‘Quick Lube’ / ‘Jiffy Lube’ is the name of some mechanic stores. 
5. ...and last but not least, you say ‘I’ve lost my flip flop” when at the beach, not “I’ve lost my thong”. (From personal experience, you only make that mistake once)! 

On that note, have a great week! 

Maree