How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

Wow! You did what?! How did you do it? That must have been hard!

These are just some of the reactions we receive when people find out that Greg and I committed to an overseas long-distance relationship for 4 years. 15,288 kms (9,500 miles) between us, but who’s counting. 😉

"Distance means so little, when someone means so much." - Tom McNeal.

Window Seat Photo #1 by Maree Richardson

Whether you and your partner are commuting between countries, states, or towns, distance is distance, no matter how large or small. Over the years, many people have asked for advice on surviving a long distance relationship. Here are some common suggestions that arose:

1. Sweet Surprises 
Send each other gifts every now and again, for Birthdays, Valentine's Day, or simply "just because".  It could be sexy underwear, a personalized stubby holder, a golden rose, you name it.

2. Communication
This may sound cliche, but communication is KEY to any successful relationship. Be open and honest with your partner. Keep it natural and unforced. Talk when you want to talk, not because you have to. In difficult conversations, approach your partner calmly and respectfully, ensuring you listen to and acknowledge their ideas and point of view. You might learn something.

"Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness." - Albert Einstein.

3. Explore Different Platforms for Communication
Capitalize on all of this amazing technology that we are offered today. FaceTime and Skype are life-savers! Text messages and phone calls are great, but don't forget about the old hand-written letter. So romantic! Who doesn't get excited by personalized letters in the mail?! Much more satisfying than bills, I say. Other ideas include cute cards, drawings, photos ... get creative!

4. Plan your Next Visit
This gives you both a common goal to work towards, and something to look forward to. It increases the excitement as you count down the days until you get to see your partner, from triple digits to double digits to single digits. A bit like an advent calendar!

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." - Khalil Gibran.

Window Seat Photo #2 by Maree Richardson

5. Sacrifice 
Relationships are all about give-and-take, 50-50. However, at some point in time, one person may need to contribute a little more to make things work, such as packing up and moving to a new town, state, or country. Remember to be patient, and keep things in perspective. The favor may be returned.

6. Trust 
This is so damn important. Don't be clingy and controlling. Don't send text after text asking where your partner is. Stay cool, man! If you are in an honest and trusting relationship, than both partners should be allowed to do what they want (within reason), to go where they please (within reason), and be trusted. If you cannot trust your partner, than perhaps they are not worthy of you ...

"I believe in the immeasurable power of love; that true love can endure any circumstance and reach across any distance." - Steve Maraboli.

7. Long Distance Dates
Have you ever tried to "Netflix and chill" simultaneously via long distance? Our fabulous Insta-friends Erika and Dale introduced us to Rabbit, an App that enables you to sync your Netflix with somebody else's around the world and chat to each other long distance. A total game-changer. 😊 Obviously it's not as good as the real thing, but you do what you gotta do, right?!

Window Seat Photo #3 by Maree Richardson

8. Enjoy Time with Family & Friends 
Make the most of your time with family and friends, as you may never have this much time to spend with them again in your life. Their company may help to keep you happy, positive, and distracted from feeling sorry for yourself.

"How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?" - A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh.

9. Money 
They say money does not mean anything. Well, it kinda does! [insert Russell's voice from Rules of Engagement]. Particularly if you partner lives overseas! Airfares are not cheap! You may need to work an extra shift or second job to make the money to visit your partner. I worked in a coffee shop (and I hate coffee!), and Greg worked the night-shift at Walmart (and he is a morning person!), until we could save enough money to purchase airline tickets to visit each other.

10.  Celebrate!
Even the little things. 1 month on the countdown? Celebrate! Next visit booked? Celebrate! Ya know what I mean. And yes, it is totally viable to "wine and dine" over FaceTime or Skype.

"You can't just give up on someone because the situation's not ideal. Great relationships aren't great because they have no problems. They're great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work." - Unknown.

Window Seat Photo #4 by Maree Richardson

If you're looking to add a little spice, or needing some reassurance, hopefully some of these suggestions were helpful.

Side note: Greg and I have now been together for 8.5 years, so we must have been doing something right. 😉

Please share your thoughts and ideas.

What would you recommend to others who have just commenced a long distance relationship? How did you and your partner get through the tough times?


Have a great week!


Maree